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Dear Bishop, my girlfriend and I have an honest, loving
relationship and have both agreed we want to wait until marriage
to "do it." We like to go on long walks holding hands and
kissing sometimes. When we're "in the mood" she'll let me
masturbate her through her panties while she jerks me off until
I ejaculate on her breasts and face (mouth closed, of course.)
Could this be considered as "spilling my seed in vain"?
Yours
Truly, Wondering
Dear Wondering, Depends on what she looks
like... (ha ha, just a little clerical
humor there... ) All kidding aside, there's nothing "in vain"
about firing your load all over your faith partner's face and
tits. The bible specifically admonishes Onan for "spilling his
seed upon the ground", so as long as your aim is good, you have
nothing to worry about. Ditto for your faith partner, so long as
she doesn't let any get into her mouth.
A few words for our readers regarding this practice, known in
religious circles as a "facial cumshot." A common misconception
is that this is some form of abasement or sexual humiliation
when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. With the
possible exception of the fingerprint, the human face is an
amalgam of our most unique physical characteristics and as such
represents a visual template of our DNA. The male desire to
spray sperm all over people's faces is, in actuality, an
expression of the natural desire to procreate, juxtaposing
visually their literal DNA against the metaphorical DNA of their
partners face. Along the same lines, ejaculating on a woman's
breasts symbolizes your desire to have her lactate. if your
faith partner seems reluctant or squeamish about such practices,
simply explain this to her and everything should work out fine.
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